Missing the Target by an Inch

Here's a blurb of my thoughts at 2:33am.....

A little glimpse of what's going on in life so that this odd comparison makes more sense hopefully: I have had some sort of head cold for roughly five days now and I believe I'm finally starting to get to the end of it. I've started this raspy cough which makes me sound like I'm doing worse but generally I get a cough for a few days when my cold is ending so it's a good sign even though it may not look that way. This cough has seemingly become a blessing at this late hour of the night. I fell asleep roughly two hours ago after talking to my wonderful fiance on the phone and then woke up with a bursting cough and a need to pee at 1:50am. I immediately took a swig of water and downed a couple Nyquil pills, propped my pillows up more, turned on the ceiling fan, and lay back in bed. I lay there with my eyes open waiting for the medicine to kick in and relieve my cough and I began to ponder the activities and the thoughts of my day.

Today... today I wasted... though that waste has led me to this moment so maybe it was worth it. I am aware that when one is sick, it is not at all lazy or wrong to sit on the couch and watch tv all day, but that is what I did today and the reason I feel guilty about it is because as I watched tv I let my thoughts run wild and entertained odd stories in my head that were... to say the least... not pure and certainly not good. Today is just one day of the past few weeks that shows how lost in worldy things I have become. Which leads me to this moment of 'enlightenment' this early morning... (I don't know why I just used the word enlightenment.)

I was lying in my bed and I just finally realized that Jesus is right here with me, He's been here the past few weeks, He's been here my whole life, and He always will be.... and yet I somehow manage to ignore His loving presence all of the time. Today I was bored. I was tired, lazy, and bored. I could have just chosen to pick up my Bible and be blessed by my Father's words, I could have just sat on the porch swing and enjoyed this fine day that the Lord has made, I could have talked with Him... but I did none of those things. In fact, I haven't picked up my Bible in at least two weeks. I do not feel guilty about this, rather I feel stupid because I have had every opportunity to enjoy God to the fullest. When He gives me such great moments to enjoy, serve, and love Him, I somehow get distracted by the things of this world which will not please me in any way.

Which brings me to my random 2:33am comparison. My life has been like the movie 13 Going On 30. Why this comparison? Because the entire movie is about this girl who is looking for love in all the wrong places when her true love is right in the room with her. I don't even know the girls name but... she is this thirteen year old who has a crush on the popular boy in school, she changes everything that she is in order to catch his eye, and she changes her interestests etc just so that she can make friends with some mean girls at school. In the end she realizes, after turning 30 of course, that she is in love with her dorky friend Matt and has been in love with him since he was her best friend at 13.
Thanks for putting up with that movie summary. Anyway, this is just like me, and I believe so many of us. We look for satisfaction, want, desire, refuge, peace, love, etc in so many places. Sometimes we try way too hard and look way too far. i.e. we spend way too long getting ready in the morning to try and look beautiful when the most romantic being of all created us and already thinks we're beautiful, we seek satisfaction in food, the opposite sex, useless and unmeaningful conversation with people... you name it really. You know what we look too. BUT... Jesus is right there in the room with us, He has been all along. He loves us when we least deserve it and in a way that is personal, all-knowing, and all satisfying.

Point of all of my rambling: Please go enjoy your Maker! He's right there waiting. Arms outstretched and ready to embrace you. If you're anything like me, you may feel undeserving or just overly distracted. Say a simple prayer and let Him know you're nothing but His. He will respond with love. A love that cannot be described. Don't miss the target by an inch when the bullseye is right there big and bold.

I now lay down to rest knowing that I belong to a loving God who has blessed me with more things than I can number. I stand ready to surrender and enjoy my upcoming service in Rwanda with my loving fiance. Jesus thanks for blessing our lives together now may we bless You. For Your glory. Amen.